If you missed it, I shared my inspiration for viewing fatherhood as the hero?s journey last week. This post is the first of three that will cover different phases of the hero?s journey and how they relate to being a dad. Before going any further, however, there are a few issues that I?d like to address.
First (and I hope this goes without saying), the term ?hero? is not a gender-specific. Historically, the journey of the hero was reserved for men, but thankfully this is no longer true. Alice, Joan of Arc, and Ree Dolly are just a few examples of heroes who happen to be women. My comparison of father to hero is not a commentary on motherhood or the role of women in the hero?s journey.
Second, fatherhood isn?t a heroic journey for every dad. Many fathers turn away from fatherhood, emotionally and physically, with dire consequences for their family and?perhaps more importantly?themselves. Not all dads embrace fatherhood?s promise of transformation.
Finally, the hero?s journey is, ultimately, an inner one. It is expressed in external terms, but it?s really a soul adventure from potential to actualization. A hero isn?t someone who does something extraordinary on a physical level, though they might. A hero is anyone who decides to do whatever it takes to achieve their greatest capacity as a human being.
With those points in mind, let?s get started.
According to Joseph Campbell, the monomyth has 17 stages, which are broken up into three main phases that I call Acts: Departure, Initiation, and Return. Act I: Departure contains the following stages: The Call to Adventure, Refusal of the Call, Supernatural Aid, The Crossing of the First Threshold, and Belly of the Whale. I won?t go into detail about every stage. Instead, I?ll discuss those that resonate with my experience as a father.
The Call to Adventure is the moment when it really hits us that we?re going to be a dad. It could be the moment when the baby is born or when we get the results of a pregnancy test. One father I know received the call when he intuited his wife?s pregnancy before even she was aware of it. My own call to adventure occurred when I saw Joaquin?s first sonogram and thought, ?How am I going to pay for this kid?s education?? Somehow, I knew that tiny dancing being would change my life forever.
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The Crossing of the First Threshold is, in my opinion, the seminal moment in the journey of fatherhood. Joseph Campbell describes it as leaving the limits of what we know and venturing into the unknown. It can be very subtle. Internally, it?s when we decide that we?re going embrace fatherhood 100% , even though we really don?t know what that?s going to look like. We?re aware of the unfamiliar territory ahead, yet we decide to move forward anyway because something inside us is pulled towards the journey?s magnificent potential. On the outer level, the crossing manifests as engagement in the preparation for childbirth. We accompany our partners to their medical appointments and attend birthing classes, learning about strange phenomena like gestational diabetes and cervical dilation.
The Belly of the Whale is where discomfort truly begins. We?ve already said ?Yes? to being a dad and taken the important step of leaving our familiar world. In the Belly of the Whale, we surrender to the annihilation of our pre-fatherhood selves and everything we?ve known in the past. It?s the death before rebirth, a stripping away of everything we thought we knew about reality. The Belly of the Whale is similar to histolysis, the process of the pupa shedding unnecessary parts of itself in preparation for the transformation into a butterfly. I entered the belly only a few weeks after Joaquin was born, when the enormity of fatherhood and sleep deprivation became unbearable. The excitement of becoming a father had worn off, leaving me with the realization that I was accountable to a tiny, helpless infant. My choices no longer impacted just me. Entering the Belly of the Whale triggered an intense anxiety that eventually motivated me to make incredible changes in my life.
Next up: Initiation, when the hero?s journey starts in earnest with a series of tests and ordeals.
Image: Microsoft Office
Source: http://www.lifeclectic.com/2011/10/08/fatherhood-heros-journey-act-departure/
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