After nine weeks of bedrest during her first pregnancy, Jennifer Spencer?s only regret is that she did not ask for more help.
?It was not at all how I imagined it,? Ms. Spencer said two months after her son was born. ?It was hard to ask for help. It just feels weird when I?m used to doing everything.?
There are many reasons that women are advised by their doctor or other health care professional to rest and even stay horizontal for the late stages of their pregnancy. When this happens, many women are like Ms. Spencer and at first think they will simply work from home or knit baby booties.
?It was hard to ask for help because a lot of my friends that live nearby have young children or are also pregnant,? she said. ?People are busy and I?m home alone and bored at 2:00 p.m. on a weekday and can?t just ask them to stop by and scoop out the cat?s litterbox or wash the dishes.?
This is the reality of maternity bedrest that inspired Darline Turner-Lee to found Mamas on Bedrest & Beyond.
?The thing I found is that people treat it like it?s a vacation, and it?s really not,? Ms. Turner-Lee said. ?Your life just gets suspended in an instant. All of a sudden you have to figure out, who is going to walk my child to school? Who is going to walk the dog? Who is going to grocery shop? Who is going to do the laundry? There are so many little things.?
Ms. Turner-Lee spent time on bedrest herself and understands where women are coming from, but still can be mystified when a woman refuses offers of help. ?I had a neighbor whose daughter?s class was right across the hall from my own child?s and she said, ?No.? when I offered to walk her daughter to school with my own kids,? she said. ?Don?t be too proud, ask for help! You can and you must because the life of your baby may really depend on you staying in bed.?
Sometimes when it seems there is no one to ask for help during a time of prenatal bed rest, women can look into hiring professionals, such Homewatch CareGivers. Even though Ms. Spencer had her husband there to make her breakfast and set up a cooler with lunch and drinks to get her through his workday, she still needed more assistance. If a doctor?s order limits activities or requires the client to be on bed-rest, Homewatch CareGivers can help manage the day-to-day tasks around the home, assist with activities of daily living, plan and prepare healthy meals.
Beyond the chores and working from home, women cannot literally sit still on the couch or bed for weeks on end. ?What I would have really liked, because it hurts to lay on the couch all the time, was to get a pedicure or a massage,? said Ms. Spencer.
Ms. Turner-Lee recommends that women do get massages while on bed rest and ask their doctors if there is some safe exercise they can do. She has created a DVD of modified prenatal exercises for women on bedrest.
?I think a lot of people get wrapped up in the bedrest itself and ruminate on it,? she said. ?It is not a fun diagnosis and it is stressful. But I tell women to use the time for planning for the baby?research childcare or music lessons?and also for themselves. Maybe they realize they don?t want to go back to their job so they can look into starting a business or freelance work, or can look into breastfeeding or pumping policies at their job.?
There are many books to read on the topic of bed rest, including the highly recommended ?Days in Waiting: A Guide to Surviving Pregnancy Bedrest? by Mary Ann McCann. This book includes a chapter by her husband with advice for partners and spouses and tips from a physical therapist on how to stay physically and mentally healthy during the challenge of bedrest.
?It?s a very sudden and alienating feeling,? said Ms. Spencer of being put on maternity bedrest. ?If all you need is help, get over it and ask.?
Source: http://familycaregiverblog.com/?p=728
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